Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

Comical Starmer: “Yesterday, we slaughtered them, and we will continue to slaughter them!”

Shock and Awe

In light of the Reform Party infidel dogs winning former Labour council seats, Comical Starmer said, “We made them drink poison last night, and my soldiers and my great forces gave the Reform Party a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly.”

At one point, Comical Starmer held up an old shoe and said, “We will welcome them with bullets and shoes.”

Pointing at a screen showing the latest election results, Comical Starmer said defiantly, “I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Barnsley. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly.”

“They are hiding in the dirts. I am most certain. The Farage infidel dog is scratching around in caves.”