Entertainment

Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay and there is nothing to worry about.

Comical Starmer: “Yesterday, we slaughtered them, and we will continue to slaughter them!”

Shock and Awe

In light of the Reform Party infidel dogs winning former Labour council seats, Comical Starmer said, “We made them drink poison last night, and my soldiers and my great forces gave the Reform Party a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly.”

At one point, Comical Starmer held up an old shoe and said, “We will welcome them with bullets and shoes.”

Pointing at a screen showing the latest election results, Comical Starmer said defiantly, “I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Barnsley. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly.”

“They are hiding in the dirts. I am most certain. The Farage infidel dog is scratching around in caves.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    24 hours ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    7 days ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.