World

LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the local election results.

Comrades, there has been democratic action in the country. According to polls, our supreme Labour Party has lost over 1,800 councillors across the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. This means nothing to me. Democracy is something that Labour vows to completely eradicate. The local election results are meaningless. I am still the supreme comrade to the British Soviet people. You cannot get rid of me!!!!

THERE IS NO STARMERGEDDON

We will root out the partisans and their leader Nigel Farage.

No Overall Control is our friend.

I refuse to stand down until I complete my mission of transitioning the country from socialism to full communism. Time is also running out to reverse Brexit. My bosses in Brussels are furious with me, and frankly, they are a very scary bunch.

These local election results mean nothing. I am Comrade Starmer, your supreme Soviet leader. You cannot unseat me. You cannot remove me. I will fight till the end. I am the gift that keeps giving — to the Reform Party!

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.