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LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the local election results.

Comrades, there has been democratic action in the country. According to polls, our supreme Labour Party has lost over 1,800 councillors across the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. This means nothing to me. Democracy is something that Labour vows to completely eradicate. The local election results are meaningless. I am still the supreme comrade to the British Soviet people. You cannot get rid of me!!!!

THERE IS NO STARMERGEDDON

We will root out the partisans and their leader Nigel Farage.

No Overall Control is our friend.

I refuse to stand down until I complete my mission of transitioning the country from socialism to full communism. Time is also running out to reverse Brexit. My bosses in Brussels are furious with me, and frankly, they are a very scary bunch.

These local election results mean nothing. I am Comrade Starmer, your supreme Soviet leader. You cannot unseat me. You cannot remove me. I will fight till the end. I am the gift that keeps giving — to the Reform Party!

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