Thomas Markle Bans Meghan and Harry From Using Markle Brand

After Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II, banned ex-royals Harry and Meghan from profiting off the ‘Sussex Royal‘ brand, estranged father of Meghan Markle made an announcement today to the same effect.

“After deep cogitation at the ramifications of our Markle family name being dragged through the gutter, I hereby decree that the use of the ‘Markle’ family name be not used to market cheap plastic trinkets, socks, pyjamas and toilet brushes as proposed by Meghan and Harry after being banned by the Queen of Great Britain of using the ‘Sussex Royal’ name for profit.”

The Exile on Meghan Street couple who are now holed up in Canada, have already spent hundreds of thousands of pounds creating a Sussex Royal website as well as patenting thousands of products they wished to sell using the trademark to make millions of dollars. This has all been shot to the ground much to the delight of the general population who vehemently detest Meghan Markle and her calculating ideas of global domination.

The only thing left for the marauding ex-royal freeloaders is to now call themselves simply as ‘Meghan and Harry’.