NET ZERO: Comrades, we are buying dirty Russian oil to help Putin destroy Ukraine

Comrades, in a remarkable coincidence, the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is now openly funding Putin’s evil invasion of Ukraine by buying their dirty Russian oil instead of drilling for our own oil in the North Sea. This is a great Net Zero initiative where we will prop up Putin’s ongoing war machine and help him as he continues the evil and brutal war in Ukraine. Our pledge for Net Zero is to spend billions of your Soviet tax pounds on buying dirty Russian oil as we contravene sanctions on buying dirty Russian oil.

Dirty Russian Oil

By buying oil from Russia, we will continue to virtue signal our Net Zero campaign by polluting the environment more, especially as the Russian oil has to be shipped to the PRSB, so nothing has changed there.

Expect your energy bills to continue rising at exponential levels because of our commitment to Net Zero impoverishing Soviet Britain’s population.

Remember the minimal effect Net Zero will have on global pollution levels as China, Africa, India and America continue to pump out trillions and trillions of carbon and gases into the atmosphere.

We are only introducing Net Zero in the UK as a form of control over the population and will be the precept for the conversion from socialism to full communism. By impoverishing the population and killing economic growth, communist rule will be easier.

Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin has welcomed the move by Labour to buy dirty Russian oil and today made a phone call to Comrade Starmer to thank him personally for prolonging the Ukraine war.

URGENT PRSB COMMUNIQUÉ

ISABEL RATPHUCKAH, 38, FROM TONY BLIAR AVENUE, SCUNTHORPE HAS BEEN AWARDED A BOX OF DEAD RATS INFECTED WITH HANTAVIRUS, THREE BOXES OF TRIPLE-USED TOILET PAPER AND A MOULDY TURNIP. SHE REPORTED HER FATHER, MOTHER, HUSBAND, THREE CHILDREN AND SEVERELY DISABLED NEIGHBOUR FOR CALLING COMRADE STARMER AND LABOUR “A BUNCH OF COMPLETE HYPOCRITICAL CUNTS” FOR BUYING DIRTY RUSSIAN OIL. THEY WERE TAKEN FROM THEIR HOVELS IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING AND PROCESSED AT A NET ZERO JUICE PROCESSING PLANT. REMEMBER, COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!