World

Even Larry the Cat Shows His Disdain Along With UK 10-Year Gilts

LONDON - England - Much like the bond markets, Larry the Cat knows things way before any humans get a sniff at what's happening.

Number 10 Downing Street’s cat is the true measure of prime ministerial power as much as voting sentiment and the terminal rise of UK gilts. To show his utter disdain at the current state of affairs, Larry the Cat likes to spray urine onto Starmer’s curtains and his collection of old Soviet posters.

You have to listen to Larry the Cat; he has a sophisticated understanding of the deep machinations and underlying movements deep within the halls of Westminster.

If Larry saunters left, this means he is open to interpretation on his direction, but if he moves southeast in a diagonal manner, lifting his tail up and down intermittently, this means he knows exactly where Parliament is going.

Now here’s the clincher: if Larry the Cat suddenly pauses, then completes a semicircle in an anticlockwise direction whilst uttering three meows, then alarm bells have to go off.

This is a signal that only a few seasoned Westminster experts know about.

 

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    1 day ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.