Top Secret Kremlin UK Invasion Plan Leaked

A top secret Kremlin UK invasion plan has been leaked by a mole working in the FBS, it has been revealed.

Claiming Asylum to Invade Britain

Putin’s forces are planning to invade the UK in rubber dinghies across the channel, and there’s nothing the UK can do about it. Utilising the ECHR, and EU regulations as well as immigration lawyers paid off by the Russians, the UK will be powerless in halting the invasion.

According to the source inside the Russian hierarchy, the thousands upon thousands of migrants being trafficked across the Channel from France every week was a major inspiration for the clandestine invasion plan.

“It’s much like D-Day, except with rubber dinghies, vodka and Kalashnikovs. Putin plans to import over 600,000 Russian troops to France, whose porous borders within the Schengen zone are like Swiss cheese. The French don’t give a fuck, and praise any misfortune that falls upon Britain. They’ll turn a blind eye, as usual, as the Russian troops armed to the teeth board the rubber dinghies for the short crossing. The French navy will escort them halfway across, and then a British ship will escort the troops to shore in the UK, where they will claim asylum to invade Britain and take it over.

“Called Operation Rezinovaya Utka (rubber duck) the Russians are all set to go after weeks of training for the mission.

“Once in Britain, the Labour government will gladly place all 600,000 Russian troops up in 4-star hotels across the country and even give each soldier spending money paid for by the UK taxpayer.

“The Russian troops will then be well-positioned to simply exit the hotels whenever they want to rampage, pillage and rape their way through each British city, town and village much like all the young foreign men coming across the Channel for years have been doing all this time,” a British double agent revealed on Tuesday.

Sadly postponed

The top secret Kremlin UK invasion plan was scheduled for next week, but because of the huge number of economic migrants currently crossing the Channel, there is a shortage of rubber dinghies in Europe and the Balkans, so it may have to be postponed till September, the Kremlin source added.

When confronted by the plan in parliament today, British PM Keir Starmer said that he intends to give the French another £438 million to do nothing about it.