World

Commissar Angela Rayner: “Savers! We want all your wealth. NOW!”

MANCHESTER - England - Commissar Rayner has vowed to deplete all private wealth and savings from all proles during the party's collectivisation drive.

Commissar Angela Rayner, the Deputy of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain (PRSB) has ordered her tax politburo office to strip the wealth and savings of those who have any wealth left, which are not many any more.

Any proles or capitalist swine withholding their wealth from the Big State tax collectors will be punished with the utmost severity.

Speaking at the Red Houses of Parliament, Commissar Rayner revealed her grand plans to grab any remaining wealth from those who do not deserve such things.

Class and Wealth War

“Comrades, because of the heavy taxation policies of Commissar Reeves after we grabbed power, many of the wealthy have already left Britain, but this is not enough. Our communist policy of collectivisation, class war and redistribution of wealth still needs to be sated. We understand there are proles who have attempted to save money. This is NOT acceptable! (foam bubbles menacingly from her mouth)

“Furthermore, anyone who attempts to save money in the future will be severely punished; or tries to start any form of capitalistic enterprise or business. In the PSRB, we do not tolerate aspiration, capitalism or any form of private property or equity.

“Our specialist Stasi units of wealth investigators are now searching all bank accounts and places which you may think will be free from our communist police state, and we will find you out. We will search high and low. If you have worked hard all your life to save some money, this is a crime against our hard-leftist communist ideology. Look at what we have done to the vile Kulak farmers, the foul landed gentry.

“I reiterate my mission is to redistribute your hard-earned wealth to those who have never worked a day in their lives, to the state, to illegal migrants, to train drivers and their pensions, to the vast salaries of civil servants and their diamond plated pensions, and of course to union bosses, NHS bosses, council bosses, as well as party officers.

“Now I have a hair appointment and shall buy a very expensive pair of novelty shoes which you stinking fucking proles will never be able to afford. Fuck off! (a large load of spittle is ejected across the floor, landing on a discarded ham sandwich)

INGSOC NOTICE 400-09300-EU REGULATION S-B09932-3-899285-XR84902

BY ORDER OF COMMISSAR ANGELA RAYNER – PETER PUPKIN, 12, OF 31A TROTSKY ROAD, CHELMSFORD, SECTOR 38, ENGLAND, HAS BEEN AWARDED TWO ROTTEN TURNIPS, A MOULDY CARROT, AND AN EXTRA 0.001 GRAMS OF CHOCOLATE RATIONS FOR REPORTING HIS FATHER FOR TRYING TO HIDE SOME OF THE FAMILY’S SAVINGS TOTALLING £21.34 UNDER A MATTRESS. THE CRIMINAL WAS LIQUIDATED THIS MORNING AT SCUNTHORPE PROCESSING PLANT J-52. HE IS NOW NET ZERO. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

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