Comrade Starmer Not Invited to Capitalist Swine Trump Inauguration

Comrades, commissars, Labour Party hierarchy, Bolsheviks, apparatchiks, Big State civil servants, train drivers, Marxist union bosses, NHS managers, and the rest of the scum proletariat. Screw the poxy Trump inauguration for the USA capitalist scum.

It has come to the attention of Supreme Comrade Starmer of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain that he has NOT been invited to the presidential inauguration of the capitalist swine Donald J. Trump. This is no problem for Comrade Starmer because he never wanted to go to such a disgusting event anyway. Why would the Supreme Comrade in charge of Soviet Britain be seen at such a blatantly capitalist, imperialist show of bourgeois wealthy greed and selfish indulgence? No! Comrade Starmer will NOT attend!

Instead, the selfless dear Comrade Starmer will be visiting a sock factory in East Grinstead where he will display his staunch communist inspection methods and maybe pick out a nice big pair of red socks for his meagre soviet wardrobe.

Here in Soviet Britain we pride ourselves in pursuing our progressive inclusive Marxist woke ideals, but we do not support things like Trumpism, orange skin, private business, jobs, wealth creation, aspiration, democracy or freedom of speech. To us, these are disgusting, selfish and greedy ideals that we steer away from.

If Trump or any of his capitalist swine lackeys reads this statement, good, we hope you read it and hang your heads in abject shame for not having as much virtue as us, and we sincerely hope your swine filled capitalist scum Trump inauguration sucks donkey poop.