Biden: “No One is Gonna Investigate Me, or Bill and Hillary Clinton”

Yesterday, a reporter at a White House conference asked Biden whether he himself should be investigated like Donald Trump has been? The reporter also added the names of Bill and Hillary Clinton to the mix. The ‘investigate’ questions did not go down well, however.

“No way. I’ve done nothing wrong, those deals with Burisma are ancient history, plus the China deals are off the books. The money I received is gone. Nothing to see here, folks. As for those long hot showers with my young daughter Ashley, that’s something no one should know about. It’s my personal business. We’re Democrats, we’re socialists, and we look after our own. Trump is a criminal through and through. Look what he tried to do to our country when he was president, he tried to fix things, he increased its economy, made it stable, lowered gas prices, and he was on the way to fixing the deep state Democrat bias, but we stopped that. He was making peace in the Middle East and with North Korea, as well as the Russians. We don’t want peace in the world dammit. Under my tenure look at the Middle East and Ukraine. We’re this close to nukes. We don’t want people showing us up! That’s why we took the bastard son of a bitch down. I also heard he don’t like ice cream. That’s a sin in my book.”

“What about Bill and Hillary Clinton?” the reporter added.

“Bill and Hillary Clinton are protected, like other Democrats. We don’t criminalise or investigate our own. It would be counteractive. Sure thing, Bill was balls deep on Pedo Island and Epstein collected a lot of dirt on him, so what? Epstein went to jail for that, and the CCTV cameras were taken off-line while he was taken out. It had to be done, folks, we can’t have the arbiters of all morality and society like Bill and Hillary being disgraced. Think about it, it would be bad for the country and our socialist principles of Marxist ideology. Democrats are the holders of all moral justice, truth and decency. Everyone knows that.”

The reporter asked one last question before being dismissed, “What will happen to Trump in prison?”

“That’s something I cannot say here. Like, what happened to Epstein? Heh, heh, heh! I’m gonna get some ice cream.”