Man Who Wanted Wife Dead Bought Her Toyota

SAN DIEGO - USA - The 56-year-old man was arrested at his home in the Chupa Chupa district after buying his wife the new Toyota and encouraging her to drive it.

The man is said to have bought his 54-year-old wife the Toyota for her birthday and even encouraged her to get into the vehicle and drive it.

Luckily for his wife, after entering the deadly vehicle she realised it was a Toyota when she touched the accelerator pedal and it shot off like a rocket.

“That little shitbag tried to kill me. I hope they put him in Sing Sing for the rest of his crappy life,” Agnys Demartino, told the local radio station KRCS.

Her husband, Bruno Demartino, was arrested and arraigned until the court case in April.

Asked after his arrest why he tried to do away with his wife, Mr Demartino said: “That old bag has been trying to kill me with her cooking for thirty fuckin’ years!”

Last week, a Dallas woman was arrested after buying her husband’s mistress a brand new Toyota, and in New York, Mafia bosses for the Tagliatelle family even tried to despatch a rival mafia gang boss by presenting him with a brand spanking new Toyota.

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