Spain Closed Down for Michelle Obama Shopping Trip

Her husband flies everywhere in the presidential jet and helicopter, even flying less than 4 miles in the presidential chopper last week for a 25 minute meeting, so why should his wife be any different?

“We have shut down Spain right now. Michelle Obama’s security detail are securing the streets. All airports and motorways have been shut down and cordoned off,” Spanish Minister of the Interior, Pablo Ruiz Pendejo, told Spain’s RTVE network.

 Michelle Obama is costing the taxpayer over $3.5 million per day with her entourage of over 750 hangers on, 68-strong security detail, hairdressers, manicurists, fitness instructors, and fashion advisers. The Air Force jet she flew costs $11,351 per hour to operate, according to several reports, meaning a 14-hour round trip would cost nearly $160,000.

“Let them eat cake”

 “They booked up 18 floors of the 5 star hotel, Los Alamos, and Michelle Obama used one floor just for her shoes. Now that’s what I call getting down with the people. This foul bitch is using our hard earned tax dollars while we got to eat with food stamps and sleep in card board boxes under the fuckin’ Brooklyn bridge,” Republican senator, Bill O’Really told Fox news. 

Yesterday, the first lady had parts of the coast of Spain cordoned off so she could go for a swim with her daughter. Police ripped up palm trees and police tape to mark off the boundaries of a 1000-mile expanse of the coast for the American delegation. Helicopters and surveillance aircraft were despatched and were seen strafing the coast during the 45 minute excursion. On either side, peasants gawked – and police occasionally stopped and searched tourists if they strayed too close to the private party.  One gentleman, strolling on the beach, did not realise what was going on and accidentally ventured into the restricted Michelle bathing zone. He was immediately detained by a group of 40 secret service men and taken away in an unmarked van.

“Bling it on”

Speaking from her palatial environs, Michelle Obama said: “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche. While Rome burns, we fiddle and enjoy the luxuries of our excesses using your hard-earned cash dollars of course. You owe it to us anyway suckers so do not be angry you voted us in. Gibs me dis and gibs me dat, step back bitches and watch now how I spend me some of that bling money.”

“Even George W Bush was not this greedy. He just hung out at his ranch on vacation and same with Laura. Apart from starting two wars they never did anything as extravagant as this Obama-nation,” Mr O’Really added.