Obama Blames BP for Slave Trade

“Even though oil had not been discovered all those years ago, BP was responsible for the slave trade and that’s why we gots to run that British company down into the ground. BP is run by English crackers and so was the slave trade, sheeit, that’s good enough fo’ me. I am asking Americans to vilify and blame the British for all of the bad things that happened, like it was BP’s fault that the astronauts from Apollo 13 were nearly lost, 911 was also BP’s fault and the current economic crisis, hell, that’s BP’s fault too,” Mr Obama told an assembled press meeting in the Rose Garden.

During the press conference a cameraman dropped his expensive camera on the floor smashing it into many pieces.

“That man over there, NBC is it?  You just dropped your $45,000 camera on the floor smashing it beyond repair. Well, let’s blame BP for that too. They can pay for that and my expensive new Healthcare system as well,” Mr Obama said to applause from the assembled press crew.