“We’ve Got Access to Bunkers You Don’t”

LOS ANGELES - USA - The infamous Oscars selfie may put some unsavoury thoughts into your head about who has access to nuclear bunkers in times of need.

Amongst the stretched faces, the unnatural puffed out eyelids, the botox smiles and the invariably fake nature of the Hollywood luvvies, there was an altogether more distressing thought crossing the minds of many.

Here were these trumped up luvvies revelling in their plastic grandeur while far away in the Balkans an important event was occurring, which could invariably affect everyone in the world?

The self-congratulatory nature of their deluded vanity is all too evident in their faces. We have access to bunkers and you do not. You may get fried by an ICBM launched from some silo somewhere in the Urals, but we know people in high places that can get us a luxurious room in nuclear bunkers deep down somewhere.

What the fuck has happened to Kevin Spacey’s face? Now that is a question that must permeate through your head as the Russian missiles explode over American cities.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Bo Selecta! Russell Brand Gets 10 Years Possibly at Monster Mansion

    LONDON - England - Russell Brand has been sentenced by the Crown Court to 10…

    5 hours ago

    Nvidia’s Huang Put His Wang in a Huang

    SILICON VALLEY - USA - Nvidia shares have fallen sharply after the CEO Jensen Huang…

    6 hours ago

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    4 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.