REVEALED: King Charles to Exile Prince Andrew to New Location

Prince Andrew is to be relocated to a special destination, the palace has disclosed today.

A Buckingham Palace spokesman has revealed that after much discussion, the disgraced Prince Andrew will be exiled to an island near the US Virgin Islands called Little Saint James…otherwise known as — ta da!!! EPSTEIN ISLAND!

“The King has made clear Randy Andy has brought great misfortune upon himself and sullied the name of the royal house; well, His Majesty has taken it upon the crown to procure the fateful island itself for this very reason. The RAF will transport Andrew from RAF Marham in Norfolk next week. He will only be allowed to take one suitcase of belongings and three servants.”

Epstein Island has been abandoned for several years since the Epstein saga, but some of the buildings are still in relatively good shape.

According to the government, a contingent of armed guards will make sure that Andrew behaves himself, and the island will be sealed off from the rest of the world.

“There will be guard towers everywhere as well as 24/7 CCTV surveillance of Andrew’s activities. On the island, there will be no young girls, only goats. Andrew is free to do as he pleases with the goats.”