Entertainment

Britney Spears Celebrates Freedom by Going On Drug Fuelled Rampage

LOS ANGELES - USA - Britney Spears will celebrate the end of her imprisonment from conservatorship enforced by her father.

FREEDOM! Cry freedom! Britney Spears has been imprisoned by her controlling father Jamie for years, and now the time has come for Britney to be allowed to spend her money as she pleases, as well as go as insane as she wants to, it’s her right after all.

Despite living in a multi-million dollar mansion, Britney feels like she has been hard-done by, especially as the conservatorship by her father, Jamie, only gave her an allowance of $120,000 per week, which meant tough times for the free spending mime pop starlet.

“Can you imagine having everything taken care for you, everything paid for, living in a huge mansion where you can only spend $120,000 per week? Also, they drugged her, they gave her huge amounts of drugs which must have really frustrated her. Her suffering must have been unbearable!” one Britney fan told E! News.

Britney was filmed flying a plane and saying she was “on cloud nine” after hearing of the end of her conservatorship. The pilot had to take back the controls of the 747 before Britney plunged it into a mountain whilst squealing like a banshee on peyote.

Another Britney fan yelped: “Forget the imprisoning of Nelson Mandela, the imprisoning of Britney Spears is the real story of oppression! People will talk about this for years, and it will be in the history books!”

Remembering Britney’s famous melt down which prompted the conservatorship in the first place, the paparazzi are raring for more Britney exclusives since she is now a free mentally deranged woman on the loose in the Los Angeles metropolitan area.

“We’re parked outside her doorstep day and night now because she’s gonna have one hell of a freedom party. She may even shave her head again, or start smashing cars all over the place, maybe overdose, who knows? This is all part of the pap game, we never know what these insane spoiled brats are gonna do next,” Buzz Nacho, a paparazzo for Neon Photos in Los Angeles, revealed.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    19 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    5 days ago

    This website uses cookies.