How Simon Cowell Creations Are Dominating Music Charts

LUTON - England - Simon Cowell is the Music Biz today. No need for Top of the Pops anymore, because with Cowell and his franchises of music programming, the population of the world has truly been satisfied.

“He saved the Biz. Without Simon Cowell, there would still be people out there actually singing songs,” Bobby Guccione, a former A&R man at Arista Records told Music Week magazine.

Cowell was recently in the UK to promote his latest talent D4NNY.

“This some deep shit. When I heard this song I knew the deep message was there. Anyone who hears this song will not be able to get it out of their heads for at least a day. That’s what I’m looking for in an autotune song however terrible or bad it is,” Cowell said.

The song has already leaped to Number 1 in the charts and sold a massive 23 records which is the requirement to get to Number 1 position these days.

Without Cowell’s influence the songs in the charts would now not be delivered solely with autotune. This is a remarkable achievement in music software promotion and has truly dominated all genres of music.

“There’s only one genre of music now. Crap. And I’ve made millions from that,” Cowell said from his multi-million pound yacht in Montecarlo.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    19 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.