Taylor Swift Now Dating Kim Jong Un

PYONYANG - N. Korea - American singer Taylor Swift is now officially dating the North Korean dictator her record company has revealed to MTV.

Ms Swift flew out to the capital city of North Korea two days ago and was met at the airport by Kim Jong Un who took her to his palace in Pyonyang.

There are rumours on the internet that this could be a ploy to soften up the nuke crazed dictator and Swift could actually be a CIA agent.

“The Central Intelligence Agency knows what a great fan Kim is and I’m sure they’re monitoring his internet use. Taylor Swift is very well known in male circles around the world and she has been around the block like thirty or forty times, so sleeping with Kim Jong Un will be easy for her. Either she stops him nuking the world, or she’s going to write a great friggin’ song about her experience of how Kim is such a jerk,” Moshe Cohen, her manager told MTV.

On Sunday the hot temptress Swift and Kim were seen inspecting a dog meat processing factory on the outskirts of the capital city and accordiing to North Korean state television the dictator plans to show her around some missile silos later on this week.

“The world’s fate is in the hands of Taylor Swift, so she better be good with those slender fingers of hers,” a spokesman from the CIA told Reuters today.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Experts: General AI Will Soon be Integrated Into Everything

LONDON - England - General AI is on the verge of being introduced into all…

3 hours ago

ANALYSIS: Was Prince Harry Making a Statement in Latest Address?

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry made a new appearance wearing military medals on his…

3 days ago

Triggered Woke People and Eco Zealots Encouraged to Choose Euthanasia

SCUNTHORPE - England - A Labour think tank details its proposals for the government to…

4 days ago

Rat Sadiq Khan Set to Win Again as Mayor of London

LONDON - England - The vile reign of rat Sadiq Khan as Mayor of London…

4 days ago

MI5 20 Years Too Late On Chinese Espionage at UK Universities?

OXFORD - England - The MI5 have finally got round to warning UK universities of…

4 days ago

Slot Machine: 7 Tactics of Increasing the Chances of Winning Slot Games

LONDON - England - A slot machine does not have to be a mystery, these…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.