EU Imposes Kebab Tax in Cyprus

LARNACA - Cyprus - Just when the Cypriots thought things could not get any worse, the EU has come up with another tax that has angered the small island.

An unnamed unelected EU official announced the terrible news on Saturday.

“All kebabs on the island will incur a heavy EU kebab tax and if there is extra chilli sauce the tax will increase by increments of 10% per year,” the official explained to baffled Cypriots on Sunday.

Nicos Malboudros, a local kebab shop owner from Larnaca was furious at the new levy as his business has already suffered after the recent bank raid by the EU.

“I am disgusted at this new shish kebab tax. They took 60% of my profits in my bank account and now I stand to lose my business as no one will buy my kebabs because the price is so high.”

The EU has stipulated that restaurants can avoid the kebab tax if they sell Brätwurst instead of the traditional kebabs so prevalent on the Mediterranean island.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: eu

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    1 day ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    5 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.