Foxy Knoxy to Become Instant Millionaire

PERUGIA - Italy - As the cheers went up in the Italian court, news of Ms Knox's freedom resonated all across the American media.

“We just got ourselves a millionairess and we’re going to milk this story till the cows come home,” John Bloom, a network representative for the CBS news outlet said at the retrial’s close.

Never mind the back door deals that secured the release of Amanda Knox, or the U.S departments who pulled the strings, this lady is now free, and tonight she’s going to find the nearest camera in the vicinity and get straight to work.

The bumbling Italian forensic scientists and police must be slapping themselves on the back as another subject walks free from custody.

Thank your lucky stars if you don’t live in America, because the next two months will have the US media completely saturated by Foxy Knoxy fever and will culminate in a bestseller or three, maybe a much anticipated Playboy shoot, or possibly even some merchandise.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    1 day ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    5 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.