Grim Reaper Dies Before Keith Richards

RIVER STYX - Limbo - The Grim Reaper, otherwise known as Death, has passed away before rocker Keith Richards, according to sources close to the entity in Hades.

“He was waiting for way too long for this Keith Richards fella to pass on but it just didn’t happen. It was only last week that Mr. Death caught a cold and it got worse. He just deteriorated, and sadly he passed away last night. He’s going to be sorely missed,” one of the angel of death’s friends, told Hell Weekly.

No one knows who is going to take over the role of the ten thousand year old entity, but there are suggestions that when Richards finally croaks, possibly in the next millennium or so, the legendary Rolling Stone himself could take over the role.

“Yeah sure, we need someone like Keith Richards. I’ve seen a picture of him and he looks like death already. I think he’ll fit into the position just right,” Satan told Rupert Murdoch’s Fox news network this morning.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    1 week ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.