Paris Hilton Converts to Islam

JEDDAH - Saudi Arabia - Former American socialite, Paris Hilton has converted to Islam, her spokesman, Ian Brinkham, has revealed to CBS news.

“She has been toying with the idea for quite a while now and when she was imprisoned at Century Regional Detention Facility in 2007,  she encountered a few people who had already converted,” Mr Brinkham said.

By converting to the Muslim faith, Paris Hilton has decided to shun her old life as a celebrity skank.

Speaking from an Islamic study retreat in Jeddah, she said: “I have now found total peace in my life. Before, I used to be known as an STD-ridden streetwalker , a ‘hoe’ and a person of loose morals, but now, things have changed. Allah be praised.”

Hollywood Jihad

Ms Hilton plans to return to Los Angeles next week to start her own Islamic school in the middle of Beverly Hills.

“Forget Scientology or Kaballah. This is the religion to be in now. I’m not going to be wearing a piece of red string on my wrist or walk around like a robot talking to Xenu. Islam is the new must-have religion. and I’m going to spread the word of the Koran to everyone,” an excited Paris Hilton said.

Paris Hilton also plans to change her name to ‘Tahirah’ which means ‘Pure, chaste’ in Arabic. Her Islamic school will open in July and is set to become a popular Hollywood spiritual haunt for many celebrities.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

GRIMSDALE - England - Comrade Starmer speaks about the enemy of the People's Republic of…

23 hours ago

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

MAR-A-LAGO - USA - President Donald Trump has issued a pardon to Vladimir Putin in…

1 day ago

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

GENEVA - Switzerland - A newly released report by the World Economic Forum reveals that…

3 days ago

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

LONDON - England - The head of the OBR has been liquidated and processed into…

3 days ago

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

ESSEX - England - Thanks to Labour's budget, taxpayers will foot the bill for more…

4 days ago

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

MANILA - Philippines - GameZone Casino is growing in popularity across many online communities as…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.