Charlie Sheen Tries to Snort Diner’s Dandruff

Patron’s of Henry’s Deli desperately tried to assist the man after the vicious attack on his toupee by wayward former actor Charlie Sheen.

They immediately called 911 and a dispatch of seventeen police cars arrived in less than three minutes.

“The Police had to literally drag Mr Sheen off the 78-year-old’s head. Poor old bastard was just sitting there eating his mush, and I saw Charlie Sheen jump on the critter like he was a wild animal or something and start snorting his fuckin’ head,” one of the owners of the world famous deli, Ernie Azoff, told the LA Times.

“It’s a good thing I fought in the war. This guy came at me like a Jap at Iwo Jima. He had wild eyes and he was snorting like some kind of greedy piggy. I was eating my mashed potato which I come in here to eat everyday because I ain’t got no teeth, I just bought this toupee yesterday too, damn it,” Sam Woodie, the victim of the whole sorry affair revealed.

Mr Sheen was taken to a secure facility and will have to be sedated with tranquilisers until he is capable of being interviewed by police investigators later today, the LAPD has revealed.