David Miliband Comes Back to Cheer Brother to Election Victory

David Miliband flew in from New York this morning, and was greeted at Heathrow by his brother, Ed.

“They hugged each other even though there was a rather unsightly knife still sticking out of Dave’s back. I don’t know how he managed to sit in economy with that thing lodged firmly between his shoulder blades. He looked slightly drained, mind you,” an airport worker told the BBC.

David, will be staying in Ed’s spare room for his two week holiday, where he will assist in the big Labour campaign.

Speaking to reporters Ed Miliband was happy that his brother had put any animosity behind him and chose to support him to election victory.

“I am glad my brother has come back from exile for a few weeks. The knife is still firmly lodged in his back, but I told him it was all for the good of the party. This is how I will run the country when I become prime minister. You will listen to my whiny nasal voice from loudspeakers everywhere, and I will remind you what a ruthless git I am on a daily basis by bringing out a new law every thirty seconds inhibiting your freedoms further. Now good day, and fuck off. I’m taking my brother to a Labour meeting where I can parade him and his stabbed back around to the party elders and show ’em my handiwork.”