Obama Threatens Putin With..er..You Know..Some Bad Stuff..

President Obama has threatened that dastardly Russian Vladimir Putin with a good slap on the wrist. Something that will make him reach for the vodka, maybe a date with Obama’s wife would do the trick.

“I’m gonna do something bad to you Putin. You crossed the red line, so I drew another red line, then another one, you keep crossing the line nigga, so Ima gon threaten you with a measly sanction. Now go on git, you gotta gibsme a reason to reach fo’ ma gun, and I’m tellin’ you boy, Ima gettin’ itchy fingers here onda trigger. Worse still, I set Michelle on ya scrawny azz. You evah got yo butt kicked by an angry black woman? Thas what am thinkin’ boy, no cracka azz biotch gonna sho me up in front of all ma bruthas and sistas, Ima gon take da fight to you,” President Obama said from under his desk clutching the phone with shaky hands, this time not opting for a twitter photo.