LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

Rapists and killers along wit paedophiles, will be released early tanks to da Labour appointed big boss raasclart ginnal David Lammy.

Labour Keeping You Safe

“Dey’s be mi mandem, mi bredrin, mi brudders. O course mi wan release dem early from der sentences. Mi looks afta mi mandem. Lef mi brudder mi gots sum backra criss ting to rapes. Mek wi go nyam sum poon…mi mash it up goo-o-o-d!. Innit! It juss anudder dey in Landan town!” Lammy said from his crib in Tottenham.

Up to 6,000 mandem bredren criminals, including killers, rapists, and sex offenders, a go get freed early from prison starting September.

David Lammy, di Labour Justice Secretary, a go make some legal changes weh a go allow criminals accused of serious crimes fi get released early fi di first time, as part a di Government effort fi stop di jails from running outta space, bumbaclart.

Dem include prisoners convicted a manslaughter, rape, GBH, and sex offences who a go be eligible fi release halfway through dem sentences instead a serving di current two-thirds of dem sentence.

Soaking da street wit even more criminals joining all da udder mandem criminals is lak bringin’ da Notting Hill Carnival vibes fer all oda London town.

Crime really does pay! Have fun!