World

Just Another Attempted Beheading in Third World Britain

BELFAST - Northern Ireland - Beheading in third-world Britain is now a normalised cultural activity that is nothing to be concerned about in any way.

When you import the Third World in by the millions, it’s no surprise that you become the Third World soon enough. Welcome to Third World Britain, where mediaeval slaughter and beheadings come as standard now.

“I was in my local Tesco last night; some guy came in with a large knife. He was blurting out some African language. He then grabbed a man putting some crumpets into his trolley and started rasping the large knife across his neck. It was another beheading. Some of the blood squirted onto my suede loafers I had bought in Milan last year. I was bloody furious,” a witness to the regular beheadings revealed on Tuesday.

Third World Immigrant: “I escaped a Third World Sh*thole to come to what is now a Third World Sh*thole”

Mass EU Third World Immigration Means Death of UK Welfare State

Wine Connoisseur Spotted at the Shops

“I Really Enjoyed the Notting Hill Carnival Despite Being Stabbed Eight Times”

It seems that the 5-star hotels the millions upon millions of Third World migrants are put up in are not enough.

Professor Choppof from Durham University has studied the data and revealed his findings in a recent paper.

“Unfettered mass immigration, thanks to the Tony Blair years and consecutive governments afterwards, including the Conservatives, has resulted in Britain becoming a third-world country. Beheadings are now part of the natural process of assimilation the British people are enjoying at the moment. Beheading of random people in the street will soon become normalised British culture, and we need to embrace the shift in cultural assimilation. Excuse me, I am on my way to behead a random person.”

Beheading! It’s all fun and games in third-world Britain

Meanwhile, in Ireland…

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