Scots Could Deny England Haggis, Neeps and Tatties

Scottish nationalists are threatening England by denying them Scottish treats if they are not allowed to keep the pound sterling when they gain independence.

“It’s simple, you stop us using the sterling and we cut off supplies of haggis, shortbread, proper whisky, bonnie lasses with fire red hair and don’t forget Murray, no more tennis for you’se English,” SNP spokesman, Angus McTruss told BBC Scotland yesterday.

An unelected EU finance minister said on Wednesday: “If you Scots can’t keep the pound sterling, you must join the Euro. It will be in your main interests and will split Britain up even further. Of course that’s something we are not encouraging, heh, heh, heh!”