NHS Data: Got Drunk Ended Up in A&E When You Were 18 Prepare to Lose Your Job

LONDON - England - Prepare to lose your jobs, your life insurance and be bombarded by marketers as the government sells your private medical records to whoever wants them.

The era of medical privacy is finally over in the UK as all private patients’ NHS data will be released in a massive data free for all. This means insurance companies, employers and anyone else who wants to know about your ailments can use the data about you to do as they please.

“It’s great, I’ve had my life insurance cancelled, my employer fired me and now I’ve got tonnes of marketers after me about my illness. Thank you Cameron. Let’s have it for doctor patient confidentiality, three cheers, hip hip!” a patient who used to have some privacy told Sky news.

As for life’s transgressions, people will be punished for their youthful exuberance as future employers will balk at employing those who may have ended up in A&E one time too many, or utilised any form of pharmaceutical help to get by in life.

“We’re simply telling the world about your medical history. There is nothing to fear here when we distribute all of your NHS data. If you have nothing to hide there is no need to worry” a government official told the BBC.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

GRIMSDALE - England - Comrade Starmer speaks about the enemy of the People's Republic of…

22 hours ago

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

MAR-A-LAGO - USA - President Donald Trump has issued a pardon to Vladimir Putin in…

1 day ago

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

GENEVA - Switzerland - A newly released report by the World Economic Forum reveals that…

3 days ago

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

LONDON - England - The head of the OBR has been liquidated and processed into…

3 days ago

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

ESSEX - England - Thanks to Labour's budget, taxpayers will foot the bill for more…

4 days ago

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

MANILA - Philippines - GameZone Casino is growing in popularity across many online communities as…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.