“I Lied! So What! You Can’t Do Anything About it! Pay the £30 Billion Tax and Shut Up!”

I lied, and I lied. The OBR even informed me there was £4.2 Billion of fiscal headroom just days before, on October 31, yet I still continued with my lies of a £30 billion black hole. I used the same lies as the £22 billion black hole that I used for my first budget, which I got away with as well.

Tax as share of GDP 38.3% Burden at an all-time high, according to OBR

I am unjustly under pressure to quit after the OBR published a detailed account of its discussions with the Treasury that took place before my tax-bomb budget of nightmares.

I manipulated the markets for political purposes

The OBR has shown that my scheming officials and I falsely exaggerated the fiscal shortfall faced and that I plotted to release the evil £30bn Budget tax raid, to save myself and Comrade Starmer from staunch far-far-leftist backbench MPs calling for tax rises to pay for higher welfare spending on scroungers.

Soak the ‘working people’

What are you going to do about it, huh? Nothing because I, Commissar Rachel Reeves, do not answer to anyone. I lied on my CV as well, nothing happened about that. I lied about not being informed that I had to buy a licence to rent my mansion out. Not only that, but I lied and I lied and I lied. But I am immune to any comeback from my lies or any investigation. The House of Commons and their silly little investigation units cannot do anything, or the other MPs, or the judges because we own them all.

I am a liar, and I enjoy lying because I can do things and get away with them whenever I want. I am immune to prosecution or any form of law.

Now kindly fuck off back to your freezing hovels so you can pay for the huge public sector and union boss pension and salary increases your fucking £70 billion tax money is going to pay for.

I hate you all, you are nothing but peasant scum to me and the rest of the Labour hierarchy. We treat you with derision and high levels of contempt. You must work harder and for longer hours to pay tax for the Big State bloated employees and their vast expense accounts, salaries and pensions and benefits while we steal your fucking money and make you pay 3p-per fucking mile… you vile cunts.

My next budget is going to be even better — I will claim a £100 billion black hole. How’s that, you pathetic scum? You can’t do anything, I’m in charge now, and my lies are impenetrable. No one can touch me! Bwah-hah-hah-haaaargh!