LONDON - England - Shoplifting in Britain is now accepted as a normal part of life, and is encouraged by the authorities. A new loyalty scheme proves this point.
Shoplifting is now so prolific in the UK that many shops are introducing a new loyalty scheme for the thieves.
If you steal ten items, you will get the next one free, the new scheme stipulates.
Many shoplifters and the Labour government, who encourages shoplifters wholeheartedly, have welcomed the scheme with open arms.
One Labour minister praised the scheme for its proactive stance in the matter.
“Thanks to Labour’s stance of being weak with crime, shoplifting is now an accepted part of British life. I commend the new loyalty scheme. We have instructed the police to not give a shit, and anyone trying to stop a shoplifter will either get stabbed in the liver by the thief or the police will arrest the person for interfering with crime offences.”
It’s a free-for-all and absolutely no one cares. The new loyalty scheme introduced should keep all shoplifters very happy indeed.
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