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Keir Starmer to Pay Spain £50 billion Per Year and Give Euro 2025 Trophy Back

GRIMSBY - England - Prime Minister Keir Starmer has apologised to Spain for the women's football team winning, and agreed to reparation payments.

There was outrage in the Labour government as England’s women’s football team won the 2025 Euro Championship last night. Lord Harmer, the lawyer who wants to destroy Britain, has advised PM Starmer to lease back the trophy that was hard won by the female England team to Spain and to pay £50 billion per annum for the disgrace of winning a trophy.

“We apologise profusely for the female England team winning against Spain,” Labour spokesman, Roger Gimp, told the BBC.

Much like the Chagos Islands deal that will benefit China, the new football championship deal will benefit Spain.

“This was unacceptable that England won a trophy at a football tournament. We are also planning to pay an extra £180 billion to Spain in reparations for beating their team in the final championship game,” Keir Starmer told parliament on Monday.

Female England footballer, Chloe Kelly, was also reprimanded by Labour for saying that she was “proud to be English” and branded a far-right racist by Labour politicians and supporters.

“We will punish this woman for her far-right racist sentiment. It is illegal in the UK to be proud to be English. The Labour government is currently in the process of decolonisation and of eradicating any form of patriotism – which is racism – in this country. Why do you think we are importing millions of illegal migrants into the country and putting them up in 4-star hotels? Remember to vote Labour again in 2029!” Keir Starmer added.

 

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