Reeves: “I am pleased to announce I beat the Liz Truss record for bond market”

Comrades, I have some more great news about the failing economy under my care. The bond market is rising at an exponential level and I have beaten the Liz Truss spike when the big boys revolted against her economic policies.

As you know, because of my careful custodianship of ruination over the British economy, the UK debt mountain has surged sharply under Labour and is costing the taxpayer over £1.92 billion per week which equates to £274 million per day and £100 billion per year.

What we could do with £100 billion per year to improve your sad fucking miserable lives is not a subject I like to address here. Instead, that money is going down the drain, so feel good about that you fucking pieces of shit.

Thanks to my careful Reverse Midas Touch, the ONS has revealed that national debt is near 96 percent of GDP. This country has not seen debt levels like this since the Wilson Labour government in the early 1960s. I am so proud of my achievements for taking Britain backwards.

Whereas Liz Truss was immediately canned and vilified by the bond market meltdown, I on the other hand am being allowed to shit all over the UK economy and the bond market bosses are letting me do it with impunity. This proves that the bond markets and Bank of England are ruled by Remainers and champagne socialist cunts, which is good for me, and bad for you, but you are mere plebs so no one cares about you anyway.

Enjoy the debt we have made for you for the next six or seven generations that you will never be able to get out of. Your quality of life is now lower than Albania, Romania or Zimbabwe. The bond market is testament to this very fact.

The Labour legacy will be one of ruination, poverty, destruction, misery and suffering.