Comrades, Today is a Big Day For My Second Soviet Budget

Commissar Rachel Reeves will address the Duma House of Comrades today to proudly announce that since her first Soviet Budget, Britain is now in recession and a Great Depression has fallen over the Soviet People’s Republic of Britain. The commissar’s second soviet budget will bring even more horror and misery to the vile proles.

RECESSION BRITAIN

“Comrades, apparatchiks, civil servants, train drivers, union bosses, fat cat council bosses, NHS managers, Bolsheviks, and the everyday working proletariat scum. I am proud to announce that today I will address the Soviet Duma of Britain about how my first budget’s policies have ruined the economy and made the lives of Britons a fucking misery.

“Thanks to my “growth” policies of heavy taxation, heavy regulation, and punishing business costs, which have reduced the quality of life to never before seen levels, as well as going on a £70 billion spending splurge on useless Big State socialist projects, I have been called forward once again to punish Britons further by announcing Labour will put Britain into a further £6.4 trillion of debt by 2029.

“Do not worry, civil servants of the Big State, Labour ministers, train drivers, council managers and bosses and union bosses all on vast taxpayer salaries and pensions will be exempt from the horrors I have brought upon the ordinary British taxpayers and the filthy capitalist private sector.

“The Red Labour government is dedicated to increasing taxes even further, increasing useless regulations that will further inhibit business, and punishing those who work hard and save by confiscating wealth from the bourgeoisie and business community. We are also destroying the vile landed gentry represented by the Kulak farmer class. These parasitical capitalist swine have dared to survive for generations, providing food for the population of Britain. Thanks to my policies, they will be stopped in their tracks and bankrupted as their wealth is siphoned off and redistributed to people who have never worked a day in their lives. Our redistribution of wealth from wealth creators to the feckless subclasses and illegal immigrants is the correct action to implement.

“Through collectivisation we as a Soviet nation are becoming stronger in poverty, and destitution. Why have a recession when you can have a Great Depression? Comrades, this is my goal as Commissar of the Soviet People’s Bank.

“Comrades, I am proud to announce and celebrate our economy shrinking into recession, by cancelling the previous proposed increase of 2.1 grams in chocolate rations that was scheduled for this year, and instead replace it with one rotten turnip for the proletariat filth.”

INGSOC ORDER 8564324-9076-S

COLIN PUMPLESWANK OF 871 URINE ROAD, STAINES WAS TODAY CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTS TO INCREASE HIS WEALTH BY RUNNING A BUSINESS SELLING GRAPES, WHICH ARE A RARE COMMODITY ONLY ALLOWED FOR HIGH PARTY LABOUR MEMBERS. HE HAS BEEN CHARGED AND CONVICTED TO 45 YEARS OF HARD LABOUR BREAKING ROCKS IN GRIMSBY GULAG. HE GLADLY CONFESSED TO HIS VARIOUS CRIMES, INCLUDING SOCIAL MEDIA THOUGHTCRIME, SELLING GRAPES ILLICITLY TO PROLES AND PROFITING OFF THIS EVIL CAPITALIST ACTION. PROLETARIAT SOVIET CITIZENS OF BRITAIN ARE PROHIBITED FROM EATING OR PURCHASING GOODS, WHICH ARE RESERVED ONLY FOR HIGH PARTY COMRADES. IF FOUND SELLING OR CONSUMING RESERVED GOODS, PROLES WILL BE LIQUIDATED AND RECYCLED INTO NET ZERO JUICE (AVAILABLE IN SELECT SOVIETMARKET OUTLETS).