Classified Files Released: “Drugged Up Prince Harry Shot JFK From a Flying UFO”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The White House has finally released the classified files which have been highly anticipated by the public.

The White House has released heavily redacted classified files that reveal the amazing news that Prince Harry, high on psychedelic mushrooms, was flying over Dealey Plaza, Texas in a flying saucer at 12:30 p.m. Central Standard Time on November 22, 1963. He was in Texas on a galactic safari/hunting trip when he shot JFK.

The startling revelations have stunned many people across the world.

The White House released the formerly classified documents to great fanfare from the waiting media and public, after months of false promises.

“Goddamn, I knew there was something fishy about that Prince Harry guy. It was him all this time! He shot JFK then flew up to his mothership in the Draco constellation,” an American commented on Wednesday.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    16 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.