Comrade Starmer Appoints New Big State Tsar to Fix Big State

Comrades, commissars, Labour Party hierarchy, Bolsheviks, apparatchiks, Big State civil servants, train drivers, Marxist union bosses, NHS managers, and the rest of the scum proletariat. Comrade Starmer has vowed to address the intermittent problem of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain’s Big State perceived problem by increasing the size, bureaucracy, pensions, and salaries of all Big State departments and apparatchik civil servants working within the Big State.

URGENT COMMUNIQUÉ FROM COMRADE STARMER

In this respect, Comrade Starmer has appointed a new Big State tsar to oversee an entire new department to oversee the implementation of further Big State special operations within the Big State.

THE BIG STATE, BIG STATE DEPARTMENT OF BIG STATE EFFICIENCY

Commissar Augustine Bloate will oversee the new Big State commissary and has already drawn up plans for a mélange of committees within committees and heavily taxpayer funded quangos to create thousands more regulations and policies to regulate the Big State with more Big State regulatory apparatus.

Speaking from his dacha in Grimsby, Comrade Starmer was confident that the Big State would be cut down to size by expanding the size of the Big State.

“I have just enjoyed a prolonged banya, comrades, and am fresh and revitalised. This list here is a small step in increasing the efficiency of the Big State by adding a further Big State department to increase efficiency and to implement a ‘fix Big State mechanism’ of Big State expansion. Commissar Augustine Bloate, who will oversee the new Big State department, has assured me that he will do his best to normalise the situation at hand by increasing the size of the Big State even further. Thank you comrades. I will now get back to my champagne and caviar soup.”

INGSOC NOTICE 442900-039972-34393830110983839291119283838292920-4

JOHNSON MCREGOR, 15, OF 21 GORDOBROON STREET, GLASGOW, SECTOR 101, SCOTLAND, WAS TODAY AWARDED 12.8 GRAMS OF EXTRA HAGGIS RATIONS FOR REPORTING HIS MOTHER, FATHER, SISTER, BROTHER, AUNTIE AND DOG FOR TUTTING DISAPPROVINGLY DURING A BROADCAST FROM COMRADE STARMER ABOUT THE BIG STATE INCREASE IN ALL BIG STATE TAXES FOR PROLES TO BE ENACTED NEXT WEEK BY THE NEWLY FORMED BIG STATE BIG STATE DEPARTMENT OF BIG STATE EFFICIENCY. THE TREACHEROUS TRAITORS TO THE BIG STATE WERE TAKEN AWAY THIS MORNING AT 3AM. THEY WILL BE LIQUIDATED AND RECYCLED FOR THE NEW NET ZERO KOOL-AID DRINK! REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!