Zelensky Needs to Wear a Suit Says Tailoring Expert

A tailoring expert at the famous Savile Row street in Mayfair, London has revealed that if Ukraine’s president Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelensky wore a suit like Vladimir Putin, he might be taken a little more seriously.

“Trump is a businessman. He just sees dollars, nothing else. Everything is monetary to him, especially war. That’s why Zelensky needs to start wearing a suit pronto if he wants to keep his job fighting the Russians. Maybe get a few gold taps. Look at Putin with his immaculate tailored suits, prancing around his gold-plated palaces. He can murder 15,000 civilians in a morning, and no one will bat an eyelid because of his elegant suit,” the tailor revealed.

A gentleman is defined by their tailoring, irrespective of their actions on the battlefield or in the boardroom.

Putin is no angel, but neither is Zelensky. Wars are not fought by angels. All those billions that Joe Biden threw at Zelensky, perpetuating the war in Ukraine, he of course did not siphon a few dollars here or a few dollars there into his own accounts in Switzerland? Maybe Keir Starmer could donate one of his freebie ill-appropriated designer suits to the Ukrainian president?

“We are sure Zelensky can afford to buy a bespoke tailored suit made from the finest materials,” the tailor added.

It’s all getting a bit dodgy now, innit.