Comrade Starmer: “The Soviet People’s Republic of Britain Will NOT Backdown on DESTROYING Kulak Farmers”

Comrades! Today, Red Parliament Square is being besieged by rich Kulak farmers from the rural areas. These are areas which our Big State Metropolitan Islington urban elite do not know anything about apart from sometimes we have the displeasure of driving through these filthy muddy places. Our policy of bulldozing over their land for the purposes of collectivisation and taxing the generational farms to non-existence is a policy that the Soviet Labour Party will NOT back down on.

Class War and Class Envy

The vile rich Kulaks must be crushed. They will have their livestock sold off, they will have their crops crushed under bulldozers and the countryside will be covered in concrete so we can build thousands of thousands of grey Soviet housing to house the millions of illegal unskilled migrants from Third World countries on benefits.

Foreign Agricultural Aid

On that note, comrades, I pledge millions of pounds to foreign agriculture programs in foreign aid to countries like communist China who do not need foreign aid. Other countries count and because Labour wants to kill everything in Britain, we are truly dedicated to destroying this country from the inside. We are thus taking from you and giving needlessly to others who have no need for our foreign aid. Yes, we hate British farmers that much.

More Super Gulag Prisons

Your pathetic privileged villages where rich class people live will be bulldozed so that we will build Super Gulags. Yes, I have sequestered Commissar Rayner, Deputy Soviet prisons minister who will take down the kulak farms, the villages and towns so that we can put the kulaks in there along with other political criminals who need to be re-educated and punished daily in woke Soviet ideology.

Bulldozers

We will bulldoze over the brooks, the quaint villages, the countryside wildlife, the farms and even the protected areas. Nothing will get in the way of our Great Leap Forward.

The Kulak farmers are criminals and will be punished for making food for the population. This is a crime most heinous, and we cannot abide by such atrocious actions. These rich landowners must be cut down, their inheritance removed so that they will not be able to continue farming for another generation. We will make sure that the Soviet People’s Republic of Britain is free of Kulak farmers, who have for centuries and many generations farmed the land to provide the populations of Britain with food.

Kulak Farmer Protests Will be Crushed

We are warning the Kulaks who are protesting. You have acquired money and wealth, which is a crime in Soviet Britain. We are going to bulldoze over your land, your animals, your crops and your precious country wildlife.

The Soviet People’s Republic of Britain will destroy all the farms, and we will round up the Kulaks so that they will be eradicated once and for all. This is a class war, the Landed Gentry will be crushed so that everyone is equal in poverty. If you own one tractor, you are part of the “landed gentry class”. This is an illegal operation now! Farming is illegal! We will take your farms and your heritage! Fuck them! Destroy the countryside! Kill the animals! Murder the protected owls, bats, kestrels and if we see any foxes we will bulldoze the fuckers into a pancake splodge!

We want to thank the Eco Green groups and animal rights groups for staying quiet whilst we bulldoze over the countryside. Thankfully, these groups like Just Stop Oil are Marxists and do not care about anything apart from themselves.