Labour MP: “My home is like the tropics in winter. I might as well be in Hawaii!”

After condemning 10 million pensioners to freeze this winter, Labour MPs who receive large taxpayer funded heating allowances for their various homes have been boasting about how they are so comfortable and warm during the cold winter months. The taxpayer funded Labour MP winter fuel allowance is thankfully not to be reduced or cancelled.

“It gets so hot I have to open the window sometimes, and I walk around the house in my underpants sweating like a Catholic priest at a choir boy’s convention,” one Labour MP quipped.

Another Labour MP, who voted to take away crucial winter fuel payments for the elderly and poor, revealed that he delighted in the comfort of his warm flat in Kensington.

“I come home and am immediately hit by a warm, cosy atmosphere. The heating is on 24 hours a day during the winter, even when I’m not there. It’s like fucking Hawaii in there. I start giggling like a deranged hyena at the mere thought that I’m here in my cosy flat all warm and snugly whilst out there millions of elderlies are crouched in their homes freezing. I twiddle my toes in the supreme warmth whilst glancing out the window at the freezing winter weather. It gives me the giggles. I love it.”

One Labour MP who voted to condemn many pensioners to die in the freezing cold this winter even admitted waiting in anticipation for the death list data for OAPs to filter through from the Office of National Statistics.

“My driver usually drops me off at one of my homes, I have six houses, all heated of course at the taxpayers expense. Anyway, as soon as I get through the door I am handed a scotch, and filter through to the cosy and warm living room. Here I look through the odd bits of ministerial or constituency junk I speed read through in a few seconds, but the stuff I really look for are the ONS death stats for the elderly. My husband usually asks me why I’m laughing so hard, and I explain to him 15,000 oldies dropped dead last week, when the usual statistic is 3,000. Then after supper, it’s time to take a long dip in the heated indoor pool, which steams like a fucking bath. Gorgeous!”