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Biden: “Trump Will Have to Clean Prison Toilets”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Donald Trump will have to clean prison toilets amongst other tasks in prison, Joe Biden has revealed.

The celebrations in the White House have been ongoing since Biden’s Democrat appointed court convicted his political opponent yesterday. The jubilant Democrats have pretty much sealed the coming US elections in November, and the public humiliation of Donald Trump is only just beginning. The Biden administration will now make sure that Trump’s life in prison is made a living hell. According to a Biden aide, Trump will have to clean the prison toilets, amongst other tasks given to the Don.

“We’re gonna make sure he cleans those toilets real good. Spit shine good. So good, he can eat his dinner off the toilet seat. There’s toilet duty, then mopping the semen from the shower room, and of course washing the dishes in the prison canteen. We’re gonna give Donald some fulfilling roles during his long prison stay,” president Biden told an impromptu White House press conference on Saturday.

On Rikers Island, sometimes the toilets can get very messy and inmates use the toilets for many things, some of which we cannot mention here.

“Prison food can play havoc on your gut, so we get a lot of splatters here in the toilets, we call it a ‘Rikers blowout’. On the doors, the seats, the walls, even the fuckin’ ceilings”, Edward Rodriguez, 42, one of the happy inmate workers at the facility revealed.

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