This Daily Squib Plan Would Empty the UK in a Month

Worried about the mass unfettered migration? Can’t get an appointment with a GP? Can’t go more than 10 MPH on the overcrowded roads? The Daily Squib presents a plan that would solve the UK’s overcrowding problem in a jiffy.

Let’s face it, the cities and towns of the tiny British Isles are now so overcrowded with legal and illegal migrants that the entire system of government is crumbling. The NHS cannot cope; the schools are overcrowded, the roads are parking lots and English is now a dying language.

Well, never fear, the Daily Squib has a cunning plan that would not only stop the fucking rubber dinghies crossing the Channel daily, but all of the migrants would leave the UK for good in less than a month.

You may ask yourself what sort of dastardly plan is this, and is it even possible? Well, our plan is not only safe, legal and kosher, but it will weed out the wheat from the chaff. You see not all migrants are a detriment to the UK, there will be some who will stay and be of actual use to the country even after our plan is implemented — but they will be very few in number.

Let’s cut to the chase. Our plan is very simple and can be implemented in less than a month, ensuring a huge exodus of millions of unwanted people from the overcrowded shores of Britain. It’s quite simple — bring in a compulsory military draft for every man and woman.

The airports and ports would be overcrowded within hours as millions of economic migrants make their escape. The Channel would be full of little dinghies overcrowded with illegal migrants doing a bit of reverse osmosis paddling back to France, where they will be greeted by a baffled French Navy who would urge them to go back to the UK, but it would be too late.

Within hours of the announcement, NHS hospital appointments delayed for over 2 years would be suddenly available. GPs would suddenly be able to see you. Hospital wards would have empty beds for the first time since the 1950s. Benefits offices would be nearly empty, as the prams full of kids pushed by Eastern Europeans and Sub Saharans disappear.  School class sizes would suddenly drop to normal teachable levels. The roads would empty, reducing pollution. You would be able to walk down the street without being stabbed or robbed because the gangs would leave as well. Crucial funds for Britain’s services would suddenly be available. The prisons would empty. You may even start to hear English being spoken on public transport and the streets. The Labour Party would lose 80% of their voters overnight. Sadiq Khan would be one of the first people to leave, which would bring back London as the true capital city of Britain.

These would be some of the benefits for the UK, as there are too many to list here. This is a bona fide plan that would work. The key thing is, does anyone have the balls to implement such a plan, as simple as it is it would be bloody effective?