Tories Now Want to Send Illegal Migrants to Moon

LONDON - England - After the failed Rwanda election experiment failed, the Tories now want to send illegal migrants to the moon.

Unelected Tory PM Rishi Sunak who tried to send illegal boat migrants to African country Rwanda but failed after the EU’s ECHR stopped him, is now planning to send each migrant to the moon. Every time the limp government tries to do something about the illegal boat crossings across the Channel from France, they are stopped by courts outside the UK. Brexit means nothing, so the moon is the government’s last gasp.

The failed Rwanda scheme cost taxpayers over £450 million, and not one single migrant was sent there. The new moon scheme will cost the UK taxpayer over £30 trillion and will still not deter migrants crossing the Channel in rubber dinghies.

Speaking about his new plan today in parliament, Sunak revealed that each rocket to the moon will only be able to house three illegal migrants. With a migrant backlog of 850,000 it may take some time to send each migrant to the moon.

Before any migrants are sent to the lunar landscape, a migrant holding centre will have to be built and there are talks that Elon Musk will be asked to help.

The illegal migrants will be held on the moon base indefinitely.

“Did I mention there is an election coming in November?” a jubilant Sunak quipped in the House of Commons to jeers from MPs on both sides.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    18 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.