Latest Global Woke News Bulletin From Your Supreme Comrade

BEIJING - China - Comrades of the woke West, thank you for indoctrinating your weak populace in communist woke ideology. We, however, still have much work to do.

Dear Comrades,

The singular woke global communist disease, ahem, I mean ideology is going well and as planned. My 10-year collectivist plan is slowly coming into fruition, it is called the Great Leap Backwards.

We have indoctrinated the Western nations into the woke agenda, and many, including the elite of your nations, have fallen into line through cash incentives. Corporate companies have embraced wokism as their ideology because it allows for their products to continue to be manufactured in sweat shops and slave farms in China. As we daily commit genocide on the Uyghur people, they are also forced to work in factories manufacturing plastic shoes for immoral greed-driven woke companies like Nike, and we do not pay these workers anything. The suicide nets we have on all tall buildings ensure that communist slave workers get to end their lives making cheap products for Western companies to sell to their customers for huge profits and not as mush on tarmac.

In conjunction with the WEF, UN and EU, who we control and dictate to completely, as well as our beloved comrade Joe Biden, we would like to congratulate you all in indoctrinating your populace with woke communist ideology, which is demoralising your nations from the inside. Your entire education systems have been wokified, and under the guise of ‘inclusivity’ the communist woke system is actually an unforgiving exclusive ideology where censorship, cancellation and intolerance are daily enacted, fracturing and dividing your nations further internally. Your wokified Big Tech companies are the guardians who indoctrinate your populations daily and endeavour to create a hive mind of communist woke think, deleting, censoring, vaporising and cancelling any individuals who have thoughts of their own. Divide and conquer is a great strategy, and this is what we are using on your demoralised population whilst China is a united singular nation of strong citizens, you are being encouraged to indoctrinate your men in homosexuality, feminity, gender dysphoria, confusion and other horrific practices. Your women are being trained into being masculine, virile Marxist activists and deranged anger-filled social justice warriors intent on murdering any men who try to compete with them in any way.

Remember comrades, we are watching you daily, and through the woke ideology which we have integrated into your pliant Western society, one day your society will completely break down. Do not worry, Chinese troops will be landing on your shores and parachuting into your gardens to take you to special concentration camps, ahem, I mean to liberate and save you.

Keep up with your woke censorship, cancel culture because it is ‘inclusive’ and ‘tolerant’.

This is your supreme comrade Uncle Xi signing out for now.