Comrade Starmer to Rig Future General Elections by Giving Millions of EU Nationals the Vote

SCUNTHORPE - England - Labour leader plans to rig the general election so that the Tories will never be elected again in the UK.

Labour leader accused of wanting to rig general elections by letting migrants who live in UK and pay tax have a say.

Marxist comrade in chief of the Labour Party Keir Starmer will hand the vote to millions of EU citizens if Labour wins the next general election. Along with fellow Marxists, the Lib Dem coalition will also ensure that a new referendum will be set up to re-join the EU.

It was a bold move, one that could shake the very foundations of British politics and send shockwaves through the halls of Westminster. Imagine a scenario where successive elections are completely rigged in favour of Labour winning, simply because of a vast increase in voters who are staunch socialists and communists.

Comrade Starmer is about to unleash a manifesto plan that would expand the franchise to include settled migrants and 16 and 17-year-olds, adding millions of new Labour voters to reshape the political landscape of the country forever.

“As well as winning every successive election in the future, we will also re-join the Soviet EU bloc once again. I have to thank Tony Blair for bringing in tens of millions of sovietised EU citizens during his reign who are now Labour voters, and fellow Marxists like Joe Biden/Obama who have opened US borders completely to let in tens of thousands of South American migrants into the country as future Democrat voters,” comrade Starmer told a group of Labour commissars on Friday.

And the numbers speak for themselves. Migrants and young people are more likely to be Labour supporters, according to polling expert Professor Sir John Curtice. The move would potentially force the Conservatives out of London altogether and unseat Boris Johnson if he stood again for Parliament in 2029.

“Comrades, we all know that socialism leads to full-blown communism. We are on that very path, and a soviet UK is our ultimate goal,” he said. “This task is ongoing, difficult and enormous. It is, if you like, Clause IV on steroids. And the results last week show our work is beginning to pay off.”

It is a battle for the very soul of the nation, a fight that would test the limits of his leadership and the resolve of his party. But Starmer is ready to take on the challenge, to fight for what he believes in — British soviet communism.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.