Police Join Just Stop Oil Protest on M25 Motorway

It’s not just about protecting and enabling eco zealot Just Stop Oil protests on busy roads, or about arresting journalists reporting on these disruptive ridiculous protests. The police are now joining the Just Stop Oil Marxist movement of mass disruption.

“We daily bring the protesters cups of tea and biccies. I found out their favourite collective biscuit of choice is the custard cream. You need a bit of sustenance after glueing your genitals to the asphalt of a major motorway,” one officer revealed.

Forget about catching violent armed robbers and burglars infesting the capital city, a good sit down with an eco Marxist has done wonders for the Metropolitan police force.

“It’s like therapy, innit? I used to get anxious about getting overtime to pay for my extension at home, but since the eco mob came along I’ve been raking it in. I tell them, they can stay on the road for as long as they want, we look after them and give them as much tea as they can drink. It has to be the sustainable tea though, farmed the eco way or they won’t touch it. We learned the hard way on that one. If any of the peasants even put a finger on our beloved eco terrorists we immediately come down on the fuckers like a brick shithouse on laxatives. Messing with our overtime is a criminal act in itself,” pc constable Paul Melchard told the BBC.

Many officers are now joining the multitude of eco protests across the capital.

“It’s quite liberating. We’re swapping our police uniforms to wear clown outfits. Did you know that when the sun shines on the earth it causes global warming? We don’t care if you have to go to hospital; you’re a polluting useless eater who should have been aborted at birth,” another policeman quipped whilst hopping around M25 junction 12 in a full clown suit.