World

How to Get Around Soaring UK Food Inflation

LONDON - England - Soaring food inflation in the UK will lead you and your family to make some hard decisions.

Your mortgage bill is set to rise by another 4% in November; the Council Tax bill will increase by another 30% this year, heating bills are set to skyrocket in April, and food in actual terms has risen by over 75%. There’s no need to worry though, there is a very simple solution to the cost of living crisis puking vomit down your throat.

Yes, there is a very simple solution to the food crisis, where even a loaf of bread is too expensive to buy.

The water diet is a very fulfilling culinary delight. You can even boil water or steam it, but it is best consumed cold.

Nutritionist, Manuel Cordoba reveals the wonders of water.

“If you can’t afford food — drink water. Drinking water will fill your belly, so you will not think of food when you see it everywhere on the telly or when you are walking outside.”

Water is relatively cheap, but make sure you do not consume too much or your water rates bill will flop through your door, and you will get a sort of nasty-ish surprise.

How long can you just drink water for? Well, seeing as your pension is now worthless, and your retirement just went out the door, consuming only water is a delightful solution to your problems. You can drink water for as long as your body has energy before it withers away and dies.

What if I have a large family, how will I feed them? Simple really, you have a choice, pay off the rent/mortgage/council tax/utility bills/motoring costs and keep a roof over your head whilst you all drink water, or buy food and lose the roof over your head and freeze to death in the unforgiving streets. It’s your choice at the end of the day.

So come on then get some H2O in yah…

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    23 hours ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    5 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.