New Orders From ‘Just Stop Oil’ Cult Intercepted

New orders from eco cultists ‘Just Stop Oil’ have been intercepted and released exclusively only at the Squib. The journalist who acquired these orders nearly lost his life after infiltrating the secretive Marxist eco organisation.

Order 623190-a

Just Stop Oil Headquarters

COMRADES, YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SO MUCH, THANK YOU. TOMATO SOUP OVER VAN GOGH’S SUNFLOWERS, SUPERGLUING YOUR GENITALS TO ROADS, AND STOPPING THE DARTFORD CROSSING FOR 36 HOURS. THE AMOUNT OF MISERY, DISRUPTION AND LOSS OF REVENUE YOU HAVE CAUSED THE GENERAL MASSES HAS BEEN BEAUTIFUL.

WE MUST CONTINUE THE FIGHT AND YOU MUST CONTINUE TO OBEY OUR ORDERS WITHOUT QUESTION. YOU HAVE THE FULL SUPPORT OF THE POLICE/LONDON MAYOR/LABOUR PARTY/THE EU/GRETA THUNBERG AND THEY WILL CONTINUE TO HELP US.

ON THURSDAY THE ENTIRE BOLSHEVIK GROUP OF COMRADES, INCLUDING COMMISSARS WILL ASSEMBLE IN DOVER AT 04.00 HRS. THE MEDIA WILL BE ALERTED TO COVER THE NEXT ‘JUST STOP OIL’ EXTRAVAGANZA.

YOU MUST BRING WARM CLOTHING AND THE USUAL FLASK OF KOOL AID FOR THE PROTEST EVENT AS WELL AS HI VIS YELLOW JACKET.

ASSEMBLY POINTS  ON TOP OF THE CLIFFS OF DOVER WILL BE FORWARDED 10 HRS PRIOR TO THE OPERATION.

YOU WILL FORM AN ORDERLY LINE ONCE IN POSITION AND WAIT FOR YOUR COMMISSAR’S SIGNAL. ONCE THE SIGNAL IS GIVEN, YOU WILL WALK FORWARD SINGING IN UNISON ‘JUST STOP OIL’. YOU MUST KEEP WALKING FORWARD AND NEVER QUESTION YOUR ORDERS. YOU ARE DOING THIS TO SAVE THE PLANET FROM USELESS EATERS AND POLLUTION.

YOU WILL KEEP WALKING FORWARD COMRADES, EVEN WHEN YOU GET TO THE CLIFF EDGE. IN YOUR MINDS VISUALISE A RAINBOW ECO BRIDGE TO ECO HEAVEN. YOU MUST KEEP SINGING AS YOU CONTINUE WALKING OVER THE CLIFF’S EDGE.

GROUPS A – G WILL WALK OVER THE CLIFF AT 8.45AM, GROUPS H – P AT 9.20AM, GROUPS Q – Z AT 9.30AM.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNQUESTIONING DUTY TO THE CAUSE. YOU WILL BE HONOURED FOR SAVING THE PLANET FROM IDIOTS.

Hail George Soros!

JSO HQ