Kate Middleton Found Between Palace Sofa Cushion

LONDON - England - The Duchess of Cambridge has thankfully been found after a worrying brief period of absence, Kensington palace staff have revealed.

Kate Middleton, The Duchess of Cambridge went missing for nearly three-and-a-half hours yesterday royal palace staff revealed today.

At three pm yesterday an alarm was sounded and there was a complete shut down of all palace entrances as staff and protection officers frantically searched for the Duchess of Cambridge.

Two helicopters were deployed to search the grounds of Kensington palace and a team of two hundred police officers were involved in the massive search party.

“We searched high and low but could not find her anywhere. It was rather worrying but when we were in the royal apartment’s sitting room we heard a little squeaking noise. I got the mop out thinking it was a mouse. Lo and behold, it was the duchess, she had slipped behind the sofa cushion, the poor dear,” Rosa Rouncewell, the duchess’s maid in waiting told the BBC.

The duchess was very grateful for being rescued from behind the sofa cushion and said that she had accidentally slipped behind there when trying to sit back on the sofa.

Once rescued, she was told to rest by her personal physician and was placed for safety’s sake in between a copy of Harper’s Bazaar magazine lying on the table.

Lucky for the Duchess she was found just in time for another taxpayer funded holiday with her royal husband, Prince William. Just what the doctor ordered, innit.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: royal family

    Recent Posts

    Bo Selecta! Russell Brand Gets 10 Years Possibly at Monster Mansion

    LONDON - England - Russell Brand has been sentenced by the Crown Court to 10…

    15 hours ago

    Nvidia’s Huang Put His Wang in a Huang

    SILICON VALLEY - USA - Nvidia shares have fallen sharply after the CEO Jensen Huang…

    15 hours ago

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    4 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    5 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    6 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.