Brits Abroad Stabbing Holidays All the Rage This Summer

MARMARIS - Turkey - There's nothing like a good stabbing frenzy on holiday. Brits are flocking to the Mediterranean this summer to agitate the locals and get a good stabbing, says the Home Office.

“It’s wonderful, you go and try and kiss a Kurdish girl and the whole family comes after you with knives. Does wonders for your fitness levels I tell you,” Graham Lout, 21, said from his Turkish hospital bed after getting stabbed over twenty times and surviving.

It’s not only the tribal Kurds in Turkey who are stab happy, but the Cretans are getting into the act as well.

“We see a Brit on holiday getting their bits out and fondling our women, drunk off their trolleys, pissing all over the place; well then its stabbing time for them,” Nicos Kotsoulis, 26, from Crete said from his prison cell.

Looks like it’s not just egg and chips Brits want, coming home to Blighty nursing a few slash wounds is a great talking point down the pub and the Daily Mail.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: uk

    Recent Posts

    Starmer’s Rickshaw Crashes On Way to PMQs

    LONDON - England - PM Keir Starmer was involved in a road traffic incident on…

    4 hours ago

    50+ Investable Opportunities Found in a New Analysis Providing Economic Gains

    GENEVA - Switzerland - The World Economic Forum has identified over 50 investable opportunities offering…

    2 days ago

    Strait of Hormuz: Shame on Many Coward NATO Members

    LONDON - England - Multiple members of NATO have displayed their profound cowardice and shame…

    3 days ago

    Shia Islamic Iran Willing to Take Down Globe For the Twelfth Imam

    TEHRAN - Iran - The Shia Islamic Iranian Republic is awaiting the Twelfth Imam to…

    5 days ago

    Iranian Regime Now Releasing AI-Generated Disinformation of Captured US Soldiers

    LONDON - England - The U.S. Intelligence community needs to stamp down on the mass…

    1 week ago

    The Have-Nots Don’t Have Anything to Lose – But You Do!

    LOS ANGELES - USA - There are millions and millions of have-nots who don't have…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.