Peoples’ Poll Reveals Favourite Names For New Royal Baby

Conducted by MORI, the poll interviewed 200,000 Britons on the deeply important issue of naming the newly spawned royal baby.

“I find it quite indicative of the nation’s view that Kate and William’s baby should be given a chav name. This is a major shift towards the more prosaic nature of the changing royal family. The mixing of the pure blue blood of William and ahem Kate Middleton has created an altogether common offspring. No doubt, I will be caterwauled for saying so, however the evidence is clear to all, we may soon have a chav king. I just hope his faux gold Argos sceptre and crown does not turn green in the rain during the trooping of the job centre,” the staunchly traditionalist royal historian, professor Edmund Feltham, from Grimsby community university told Sky news before being pelted with rotten eggs.

Top 10 Names For New Royal Baby

1) Chesney

2) Jack

3) Liam

4) Nokia

5) Jordan

6) Kade

7) Tyler

8) Harry

9) Wayne

10) Dwaine