World

PRODUCT RECALL: “Maxine Waters Vindictive Raisins” Taken Off Supermarket Shelves

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Nationwide supermarkets are urging an urgent recall of "Maxine Waters Vindictive Raisins" products due to adverse violent affects if ingested.

Supermarkets across the USA are urging customers to return a product that has turned out to be really dangerous. Maxine Waters Vindictive Raisins (all batch numbers) should not be ingested at all costs or the consequences could at the worst amount to death.

Raisin Hell

The urgent recall from all supermarkets across the U.S is truly scary because these raisins are deadly.

Walmart General Manager, Dwight Prune, revealed why it is recalling Maxine Waters Vindictive Raisins from its stores nationwide.

“Eating even one these raisins causes people to riot violently, commit mass arson, and act fucking insane. People start getting all hateful, racist against white people even if you’re white yourself, and start looting, rioting, setting fire to stores — as well as attacking police officers for no reason. Please, we urge all Americans from eating these Maxine Waters Vindictive Raisins. Just put ’em down! Once you eat one, you won’t be able to stop!”

In fact, the situation is so serious that the DHS is now involved in the situation.

Dina Rhea, Chief of Operations for the Department of Homeland Security is aware of the grave situation and is especially urging young Americans to not eat the raisins.

“Our current threat level is flashing red! Please do not eat the goddamn Maxine Waters Vindictive Raisin product. Amon axe y’all to step away from da muffugin raisins bitches, otherwise this whole damn country is goin’ up in muffugin smoke!”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Who From Labour Could Replace Keir Starmer?

    LONDON - England - The race is on to find the new Labour leader after…

    10 hours ago

    REVEALED: King Charles to Exile Prince Andrew to New Location

    NORFOLK - England - Prince Andrew will be relocated to another destination the palace has…

    11 hours ago

    Communiqué From Comrade Starmer in his Bunker

    UNKNOWN LOCATION – SUPREME COMRADE STARMER HAS RELEASED A COMMUNICATION FROM HIS BUNKER!

    15 hours ago

    REVEALED – The Perfect Utopian Paradise For All Leftists

    MANCHESTER - England - After very little research, we reveal the perfect utopian paradise for…

    2 days ago

    Crypto is So Frikkin’ Ugly – But Don’t Worry There’s a Solution

    LONDON - England - The crypto scene is so ugly right now it needs a…

    3 days ago

    The Rats of Parliament

    LONDON - England - The Houses of Parliament are infested with rats, apparently. Surely not...

    4 days ago

    This website uses cookies.